Monday, October 20, 2008

A friend that brings a SPECIAL connection

I am friends with her sister Michelle who I work with at Longhorn. Ive met her sister Nicole before but we weren't friends. Not in a bad way we just didn't know each other well. Michelle knew what I was going through and shared that Nicole was going through some stuff too. I told her that if her and Nicole ever talked about it to tell her that she could email me anytime if she wanted to talk to someone who knew what it was like (somewhat) or that maybe she might like to try a different doctor, like Dr.Hughes.

I guess its not really important how it happened but Nicole and I started talking, a lot. At first it was really just via text. Then we talked at a party Michelle (her sister) had. And our relationship grew from there

Nicole had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years! She had a few miscarriages, failed IUI's and 2 IVF cycles....she was frustrated to say the least and discouraged. And if you have ever been through this you know why she felt the way she did.

At one point in the past she actually put her house on the market because she literally wanted to get away from everything. I think she realized that unfortunately it would not matter where she was living it was not going to change the fact that she could not get pregnant. So she took it off the market and just went on vacations and bought herself things to make herself feel better. If you've been there you have your "thing" too that makes you feel better. But was it really making her feel better - not really. She would got to work and look at pregnant people and feel annoyed and jealous. Do you feel like that - I know I do. And its completely normal - at least that's what we tell each other.

After we started talking via text more frequently I knew that she was going to try one more IVF cycle. This time she was going to try something different - she was going to do Assisted Hatching with ICSI where they inject the sperm directly into the egg. This was now her 3rd IVF cycle. All three were high grade embryos and one had started to fuse to the next stage early on day 3 before the transfer which was good!
That time of the month came and she was pissed - she sent me a text saying she felt crampy and that she knew that she was going to get her period and she was pissed! And you know what - who can blame her? But I told her to try and stay positive even though I know now that its so hard and that maybe she's pregnant and that's what the cramping is. So days go by and I text her and ask if she's gotten it yet and she says no but she doesn't want to take a test cause shes afraid cause their always negative. I said I didn't know how she could even hold out - the suspense would kill me.

I don't even know how many days went could have been just one when I got a text that said she took the test and it was positive! I was soo excited for her! But as you know, she didn't believe it and was not going to until she actually knew it was a viable one and it stayed that way. I'm happy to say that I was just at her baby shower on Sunday and she is having a girl, Ella.

I'm telling you all this because she is part of the reason I started this blog. She really has been a rock for me. Not only do we have SO much in common. Sometimes its like we were cut from the same cloth. She always helps me talk through what I am feeling because she was there - she went through it all and then some. I feel like there is a special bond between us. I mean I love my family & my husband and they truly try to understand but as you know, no one will understand unless they have experienced it themselves. She has given me advice, she has felt sad for me, she has shared her pregnancy with me and she never has made me feel bad about the fact that she's pregnant and I'm not. When I need to vent I text her....and she lets me be mean or stupid or whatever....especially when everyone around me is getting pregnant. We hope to someday raise our children together....She gets it and that's where the bond started & it will always be there.


  1. I'm crying......!!!! ok...weird, very weird thing going on here. The word box below wants me to type in a word. The word is "babyiam" Ironic????? Just the fact that the word "baby" is in there is strange....

  2. Such a wonderful story of life and hope. Ella - love the baby's name - it means "beautiful fairy". See