Progesterone Oil Shots!

All I have to say there is nothing like a protruding belly...oh wait - it would be great if I were actually pregnant...

A protruding belly from this stupid shit called PROGESTERONE OIL! WTF!!! I mean being pregnant and have a little belly is one thing but when you are not pregnant and you have a little belly - NOT COOL!!

Did anybody do anything that helped the bloating? Its not awful but its enough to be completely annoying in clothing and bathing suits....

If you have any suggestions, besides stopping the PIO, please let me know!!!

Secret

Hey everyone!

I wanted to add something to my last post but figured I would just make a new entry. I wanted to let you know that I kept the date of my beta a secret because that is something that I don't plan on sharing at this time.

Jack and I made the mistake of sharing the news of our first pregnancy over 2 years ago with everyone. This time we have decided that we are not going to tell anyone but our family. There are too many people that read my blog at this time and its not that I don't want to share I just don't want to have to explain to everyone if I have another miscarriage or whatever...

I hope that everyone understands and can be supportive of this. I will try and post but we will see how that turns out. Know that I am obsessed with reading everyone else's blogs and will continue to do so and will still comment - you just might not see a post from me for awhile.

Thank you so much for all your support and love through my first IVF journey. I definitely could not have made it without all that support, love and advice! Best of luck to you all!!! Much Love

My Day of Transfer

I brought my journal with me so I could write down exactly what was going on so I wouldn't forget to write it all.

I woke up at 730 so I could get to acupuncture at 830.

When we got there at 830 exactly and the phone rang. It was RSC confirming my transfer appointment for 11AM - have to be there at 10AM. She asked if there was anyway we could get there earlier? I said I am currently walking into acupuncture and that as soon as we got out I would head there......Acupuncture was great...a little rough when she got to the abdomen where the uterine lining is!

We arrived at 940 and got comfortable in our area of space. Kathy (the awesome nurse from Wednesday was there) and she got us situated and gave me my water to start!

940 first glass of water and was given my Valium
945 first glass done
I was eating saltines so I could make my mouth dry so it would be easier to guzzle the water.
955 second glass of water done and on to 3rd
1000 finished water

I was feeling a little sick from drinking it that fast..hahah

Went in for u/s at 1000 to see if my bladder was full...certainly didn't feel it...and low and behold it wasn't. Bummer...now onto my fourth glass - and now I am going to PEE MY PANTS!

The nurse came and and told me to get undressed from the waist down and that they would be in shortly..really - I'm dying here!!

Now its 1022 and they are almost ready - I cant wait to hear the embie results!

They are back and ready with my full bladder - here are the embie results:

We wanted to transfer only one and she said that one is "GORGEOUS"! The center of the blastocyst (inner cell mass) will become the fetus and was graded an A and the surface cells that surround the center (trophectoderm) which will become the placenta were a B. She said it was a great blastocysts! And she commented that the transfer could not have gone better. I was able to watch on the screen as they put my little embie in its perfect spot. She said that the embie is the size of a fleck of dust..interesting ha?

As for the other 13 fertilized...I guessed 6 would make it, Jack guessed 7, My sister guessed 9 and "We Have Angel Wings" guessed 7....

None of us were right...she said there might be 2 that will be able to be frozen. One is looking really good and there is another that is lagging behind but could get to the point where it could be frozen. She said they had looked at them at 730 in the morning so a lot could change...She said that there will maybe be 2 - cant promise but it was looking good! She said they will review them again and if there are any viable to freeze they will do so and send a letter out letting us know how many, if any. SO now, of course I'm dying to get that letter!!!

Here are some pictures of our day!







I saved the best for last...My "GORGEOUS" Blastocyst!

The Start of a Great Day

7:42 am - Up and getting ready for acupuncture and transfer (scheduled for 11AM)

*cant wait to find out how many embies made it..my guess 6, Jacks guess 7 and my sister Marica's guess 9*

To Be Continued.....

A 5-Day Transfer It Is!

I went to acupuncture today at 8am in anticipation that I would be going in for my 10:40 transfer but while I was in acupuncture they called to tell me the Embryologist is comfortable because there is enough embryo's to push me to a 5 day transfer...Yeah I think...I don't know what that really means but it also makes me nervous because how many die off between now and then? Also, I want/need to freeze at least one and I am not sure what stage they have to get to in order to become freezable???

If they make it to a 5 day can they then be frozen or does it have to get past even those 5 days in order to be frozen? AND, if you do a 5 day transfer is your Beta earlier than 12 days?

Help me??? So many questions!!

The Results Are In

and.......wait for it........I'm sooo excited........

13

She said they are all pretty good too and that they are going to probably bump me to a 5 day transfer. Now, to be honest, I have read so many blogs that all want a 5 day transfer but I dont' know what the difference is and what it means?

BUT I DON'T CARE!!!!

I was so worried that none would fertilize that I am just happy that 13 did and she said it was amazing and awesome!!!

YEAH EMBIES!!!

Progesterone Oil

I am still waiting for them to call with my embryo results....

But, the reason for this post is the Progesterone Oil...Not only am I in pain - is my ass swelling?

Retrieval Day Done!

HI everyone!

I did it - I made it through retrieval! I thought I was going to back out - I actually asked as she laid me down on the operating bed...can I back out? She smiled and said no softly and laid me down..hahah

They all knew I was soo nervous. My legs and body were literally shaking. But the nurses were so nice I couldn't have been in better hands.

As you all know I was afraid of going under since I never had been before. When I laid down he said I am going to start the anesthesia and I was like already? He said you wont feel it for another minute. I said ohh burning in the throat and they said its from the anesthesia..I closed my eyes and opened them and then closed them again and the next thing you know I was waking up - I was dreaming about Grey's Anatomy...apparently I was mumbling about it...Cant tell you but I was either a doctor or the patient! hahah soo funny!

I asked Jack the same questions like 3 times! One of them was the good ole "How many eggs"? To be honest...when they called me they said I had 16 follicles and would probably get 7-9 mature eggs. He said they got 17!!!!!!!!!! you heard it 17!!!!!! Now I don't know if that means 17 mature ones or what but they got 17 and that was more than I ever thought they would get so I was happy.

Now if I can just get between 3-5 to fertilize EXCELLENTLY than I will be one happy person!

I cant believe I am sitting here and its already mostly over. The transfer to me is the easy part - just like an IUI...and then the dreaded 2ww. But to be honest with all of you...I'm just happy I made it through this so if it doesn't work the first time, I know what to expect and I will be able to do it again...let's just hope I don't have to!

** Oh, I don't mean to brag but I forgot to mention how AWESOME my HOT, LOVING husband is - I could'nt do this without him...hahah **

Retrieval Day

Its retrieval day - in exactly 1 hour and 49 minutes and I am totally FREAKING out!!!

For those of you that know me you know I have a big issue with anxiety. Well, I'm trying to control it but its not working...I hate the unknown - its making me sick to my stomach literally...I'm getting pains there and then it moves to my ovaries. I am trying to not think about it cause I don't want to ruin anything but its sooo hard!

The anticipation is a killer - shoot me now!

I hope its over in a flash.

Ill update you all later...Wish me luck :-)

The Time Has Arrived

Its here!

I had my last u/s & b/w appointment today and I was just informed that I am done. I am to trigger tonight and my retreival will be Wed morning at 10AM.

THis morning on the screen it looked as if I had:

Left Ovary: 18,16,15.5,15.5,14,14,13,12,10 (these are guesses based on what she said quickly)
Right Ovary: 19,18,16,15,15,14,12 etc....

So today when she just called she said estrogen was 1,689. She said there were 16 follicles total and that I will probably have 7-9 mature follicles. . Im a little dissapointed? Doesnt that seem awfully low and what if they all die and none make it cause there is such a small amount? Ugh - this is nerve wrecking!

Well anyway, there is nothing I can do about it now. As you all know I am freaking about going under and now she tells me its like a twilight sleep - you are not completely out? And its for like 15 minutes. SHOOT ME NOW! I hate this as it is so now I cant decide if I want to be out or I want the twilight sleep? Those of you that have done this before - HELP!

2nd Ultrasound Check

This morning at 915 I had my second u/s & b/w for my first IVF cycle.

Its funny, I felt some pressure the past 2 days especially on my left side so of course I expected to see a TON of LARGE follies...not so much (not bad though)....

My lining is 10
My Estrodial i 1,033
My LH is .07
Left ovary 16,14,13,12,11.5,10 (4 less than 10)
Right ovary 15.5,15,14.5,12.5,10.5 (5 less than 10)

When she called to give me the results I told her that I understand every body's body is different but how am I doing? She said that I am responding excellent to everything! I thought based on what I saw on the u/s screen that they would have me do 2-3 more nights of shots but she said they just want me to do one more tonight and come back tomorrow for a check-up again. She said although she is not my doctor my retrieval will probably be Wednesday or Thursday.

I cant believe it...I actually get butterflies in my stomach when I write that. I try not to get to excited because it does not always work on the first try and I am only putting one back in so....well see. I honestly just hope I have at least one or two to freeze so I don't have to do the shots and BCP's if this first try does not work.

Do you wonder like I do why it wouldn't work? There is nothing wrong with either of us besides my lower hormone levels...you would figure we'd be a shoe it right? But, with that said wouldn't you figure if that was the case that we'd be a shoe in to get pregnant the good ole fashioned way or through IUI? Guess again - apparently nothing wrong is not enough.

Stay Tuned...

First Check-Up After 4 Nights

Hi everyone!!!

I had my first u/s and b/w today after 4 nights of 225 units of gonal.
(Those are not my follicles above)

U/S tech said my lining was 8.3 and they like to see anything over 8.
She said that on the left ovary we have 9 follies...the largest measuring at 9 (they say they don't count them until they measure over 10) And on the right we have 6 follies with the largest at 8.
My estrogen was 286 (no idea what this means now)
My LH was .4 (no idea what this means now either)!!

I guessed it before hand...3 more nights of .5 Lupron & 225 gonal and another appointment on Sunday morning.

I think things are progressing nicely...I'm excited to see what Sunday brings!

2 Days Down....

This is me on night one (Sunday) of stims...I had no idea how to use the gonal-f pen as I have always mixed me own cocktails! Who knew drugs could be soo easy!! Don't I look excited! haha - well see how long that lasts!

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Last night was day 2 on 225 units of gonal. I have my first appointment to check my follies on Thursday morning...very exciting! I am feeling soo much better since off the pill and AF came and went. Its amazing how crappy I feel on the pill. I felt so fat and miserable and now I feel like my old self...Lets see how long that lasts. I gave myself a nice, nasty bruise on my right thigh last night from my shots! Yuck!

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I wanted everyone to know "Thank You" for your advice with the exercising....I did call the doctor and they told me I was fine to go whatever I want while on stims...but I have decided that I am not sure Hot Yoga is for me. I am going to try regular yoga this week - I think that is more of what I want, something more relaxing. I am still walking at least 3 times a week...that has made me feel better too! So....as of now, I am still going to do some form of exercise and will do so until its uncomfortable. Thank you everyone for worrying about me and giving me the advice, I appreciate it and will make sure that I am always careful!

Ready for the next step!!!

I'm a little late posting this but it was the first time I have had a chance to sit down and write an entry.

I had my suppression u/s & b/w on Thursday morning. My lining was 6 and she said there were a lot of little follicles on each side...basically nothing much going on in there! Which is great - just how we want it!

I had a few questions about some things, especially the Gonal Pen since I have never used it before....the u/s tech told me to just ask at the front desk and they can call and see if someone from my team can come answer a few things for me. I asked the old bag at the desk that if someone was available I would like to ask a few questions and she said "if you want to talk to someone your best bet is to call them". I looked at her and said oh thanks for being so helpful and walked out - Bitch! I was so pissed - but whatever!

I thought for sure they would have me start my shots that night but they didn't. I got the call that the Embryology Department reviewed everything and would like me to lower my Lupron to .5 and start my 225 units of gonal on Sunday night!!!!

I have to say I am very excited! I am trying to control it though cause I don't want to be disappointed...just because she said I have a 50% chance of getting pregnant doesn't mean anything really.

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On another note...I went to my first Hot Yoga (Brikam Yoga) class yesterday! WOW - do you sweat! I was drenched by the end...BUT - I burned almost 600 calories in that one class. I couldn't move today but hey - whatever! I am not sure if I like it though...I am going to try it for the next week to see what I think..I think now that I went and know what the positions are I will like it more and more....

I did call my RE to ask if there are any limitations involving exercising at this point - because I started walking/running again. I always worked out a lot before but have fallen out of the loop so I want to make sure I am cool starting all that up again especially with the 225 units I will be pumping into myself starting tomorrow.

Good News - they said everything is fine as long as it is in moderation. Once I get pregnant she said we will need to re-evaluate.

Which brings me to this....what are you all doing out there? I - once pregnant - will only be going walking...I'm too scared to miscarry again even though there is nothing that you do that makes that happen...I don't want to put undo pressure anywhere on my body. I would like to find a regular yoga studio and just continue to walk...Once I actually get pregnant, I will do nothing but take care of my and that growing baby!

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I think that is about here for me....Ill keep you all posted...I will say I hope that I am on over achiever like Murgdan - 20 fertilize eggs would solidify me never having to do gonal or go under for years! hahahah

Suppression Appointment - CHECK!

Had my suppression check this morning....The Ultra Sound tech (although not a doctor) said everything looked so great - and boring hahah...she said that I will probably be starting my shots tonight!

Woo Hoo....IVF here I come!

Even jewlery made me feel bad

Has anyone ever heard of Pandora Jewlery? They are amazing charm bracelets but different than the typical one...HOWEVER, they cost a fortune...like $1,000.00 - the charms themselves cost like $50.00 each..

Anyway...on with my story...I have wanted one of these forever but obviously cant drop $1000.00 on a bracelet so today I was at the Paper Store (Hallmark Store) and they just re-vamped the store to include an entire jewlery section.

Well, there is this jewlery section called Chamilia..its basically the exact same thing as Pandora but slightly cheaper...so here is the point of the story.

I asked the women behind the counter about them and was saying I was very excited to find them locally and now I know I can ask for gift cards etc so I can save up to get ome...and she says "well mothers day is coming up" you could get one for that?

I said...I am not a mother...and in my head said - thanks for reminding me......