Friday, February 27, 2009

Just When You Think You Have Made Peace!

Most of you may not know this but I am a waitress and Bartender at a Steakhouse. The reason I mention that is for the purpose of this story.

She tells me yesterday that she sat me...and that she was pregnant...very pregnant that is. Of Course I'm annoyed - sometimes I don't mind at all waiting on pregnant people it just depends on the kind of day/week/month I'm having..but I was pretty cool yesterday. When I went over, I do what I ALWAYS do when I'm waiting on someone pregnant..I check to see if they are married. I know it sounds nuts but if they are it makes me feel a little better. Her and her friend ordered and I noticed she was I don't mean that in a mean way just an observation. I said to the my friend, the hostess, I think she is having twins..either that or she is about to give birth any minute. She said I think she is having a boy cause she is carrying so low. Neither of us wanted to ask her really? What was I going to say "are you having twins" and then she says no and it looks like I asked her cause I think shes huge! hahah

So..I said to her while I was wrapping her food up..Do you know what you are having and she said TWIN BOYS - and only has 5 more weeks to go! ha! We were both I told her the conversation my friend and I were having and she was laughing...she was very sweet actually.

So I walked away and I was not upset - not in the least bit actually...I decided why should I be upset - I don't know her life story? How do I know that she had not been trying for two years? How do I know this wasn't her final IVF cycle and it worked...I know NOTHING about how she got to where she instead I decided to just let it go and think shes pretty dam lucky and move on with my day.

That night (last night) I found out that there is a chance one of the girls that I work with might be pregnant...she is young - very young and not married...Then I figured after all I just told you above - I was slapped in the face. So now, IF she is pregnant (and there is a GREAT chance) then I have to watch her belly grow every time I work with her...just when you think you are moving on past hurt...something else shows up to let you know you were an idiot for thinking you could!

The hits keep on coming....I am hoping they end soon...I'm so bruised I hardly recognize myself.


  1. Oh sweetie, I know all too well that bruised feeling and it aches, but the bruise will heal and you will move forward and you will be a Mommy.

  2. I nomintaed you for a blog award!

  3. Ugh, just when we think we've moved one step forward, BAM! We are shoved back ~ I am so sorry!

  4. Melissa,

    I know how much your heart is bruised and how much it hurts. I know that this very young girl who might be pregnant could never understand the pain.

    But, I want to share something with you in hopes that it can make your bruises a little less tender.

    I work in a women's clinic - for every stage of their life! (their motto, not mine) I see them all - young to old. A couple of weeks ago I had a 14 yr old come to my clinic and she was 5 months pregnant. I gasped when I noticed how "young" she was. On my way home from work I was thinking about her and I thought "Really, she's 14 and she gets to be a Mom? What about ME?"

    You wanna know what makes you and I (and all the other IF ladies) so special?

    We're not 14 living with our parents. Were not 14 and worrying about how were going to get through school and maybe even college to make a life for you and your child(ren). We're not 14 with a "boyfriend" who we don't know if he' are going to be there tomorrow. So,, even though our journey sucks and it hurts - we are going to be the bigger, better person for having rode this roller coaster.

    When our baby comes - we will love that baby and appreciate that baby more than that 14 yr old ever could. We are married with jobs and have created a life for ourselves and our future children. We are married to wonderful, loving husbands who love us no matter what. Our situation is so much better than these "young ones". And in my eyes - that makes us the better person and someday Mommy!

    You are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman and you are going to make one hell of a Momma.

    I'm rooting for you and I can't wait for the both of us to experience pregnancy and motherhood.


    P.S. I hope you don't think I'm making light of your bruises - I know they hurt. But seeing what I saw that day made me feel so much better off then she could ever be. ((HUGS))

  5. Ughhhh I am so so so sorry. I know that awful feeling.

  6. I know that is so hard. I have to watch so many people who are not married at work have child after child. There is one girl who has a 11 month old and is getting ready to deliver another any day now...not married and it just sucks. ((HUGS))

  7. Just do the same thing I did and copy and paste the picture onto your blog so everyone knows you got an award :) Happy Weekend!

  8. Amen Tarah!! I try to tell myself this as much as I can... refreshing to hear it from someone else.
    Melissa, it's true... life is unfair and this possibility of your co-worker being pregnant, is just another example, but when your time comes, you will be on Cloud 9.! I almost went through it myself. But the grass isn't always greener for random preggos. When my co-worker was pregnant (she had a loss), she was unwed to her boyfriend of 6 months, who's 15 years her senior, and he's not even divorced from his last relationship. They were struggling to scramble together a shot gun wedding, buy a new car, and get a place together... she is more broke than a car in a landfill, living on a line of credit... as you can clearly see, she has no brain, so I really would've pitied her and her unborn child had it survived. In fact, I pity all of these young pregnant people for not having an incredible, amazing plan for raising their children like we do/will. I guess that's just the small price we pay to have a better life in the end????