(me, nonni, mom)
On Tuesday I spent the day with my 94 year old Nonni.
Just to give you a little background...When I went to college originally I didn't like the college I chose and decided to change to a college closer to home. I decided to go to Salem State and there I moved in with my Nonni and Nonno so I didn't have to live on campus. They were kind enough to let their granddaughter live with them for 2 years.
Unfortunately my Nonno died 9 years ago. I still see my Nonni as much as I can. She is one Hot Ticket! I mean how could she not be - she is 94 and still likes to drink, loves to shop still and can make me seriously laugh!
So...anyway there have been a few times that she has said that she does not want to live too much longer...I think she is lonely (although she has a ton of friends). We are very close - I am not exactly sure what I will do without her which brings me to our conversation.
One afternoon over lunch - I am not sure how we got on the subject - but we were back talking about her dying (she likes to talk about it)...I told her that I did not want to talk about it and that she COULD NOT die until I had a baby. and of course she said ohhh....and I said and that could be another 10 years and she laughed and said please don't do that to me...hahahah
Forward to Tuesday at lunch I say to her wow you are 94.5 and she said no and counted and I said fine..you are 94.4..hahah and she said I hope I don't live to 95. And of course I say how could you say something like that. She said I just want to go to sleep and not wake up - you know that's how I want it to happen..I told her that is not something that I can talk about and that we already discussed this...You can not go anywhere until I have a baby...please...and she says (in her sweet voice) ohhh yess...you need to have a baby....I'm going to say a Novena for you....
I tell her - yes, but I think you are going to have to say a lot more than that for me....
Oh she also knitted a blanket for me...she made one for my sister for her 2nd child and I told my mom that i needed one from her where we are soo close if for some reason she is not here by the time I get fricken pregnant I want something from her to remind me of her.....
Infertility sucks - not only for the thing we cant have but for when we can - there will be certain people in our life that will miss out on it...and to me that sucks the most.....I want her to see my baby, love my baby, hold my baby...
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Your grandmother sounds amazing. I know what you mean about wanting people to meet your kids. Every year my grandparents (the only living grandparents) get older and older and I want them both to meet my kids but am so worried that won't happen.
ReplyDeleteYour grandmother sounds very with it and I'm sure she'll be around for quite awhile longer.
IF sure does suck!!
Your seriously freakin' making me cry! I know how you feel. I think that is what has made this IF thing so hard as of recently. Because although it has been 8 yrs I have been TTC, my grandmother passed in Aug. and I was never able to have her hold my child. I will be doing a grandma post soon in honor of her birthday. She was born April 12th, 1913.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your photo and your description of your Nonni. I can tell you have her eyes.
Much love,
Liv
Your Nonni sounds Great.. And also sounds like she can be quite the Character too.lol My dh has a grandmother like that. shes around 80 something.. and shes cracks me up.lol
ReplyDeleteI also sadly know what you mean about IF sucking after we do have babies sometimes. My Daddy past away in october last year. He was looking forward to having grand babies.. and he would of Loved them to death. I miss him Terribly also. He knew about us ttc.. and when he and my mom would pass by baby stuff in stores he would say.. I'm gonna buy my grand baby this and this..lol so sweet!! He was everything that a man should and could be. Dh's dad is nothing like mine. And its unfair that my babies won't get to have my dad in their life.
So when I have my babies there will be (at some point) a "BITTER SWEET" moment when I think about my daddy.. I have ask the Lord if he would please somehow allow my daddy to see my babies when thier born though:)
I hope your nonni lives to see you have a baby:)
Hugs,
Hannah
Your Nonni is so cute and sounds like a wonderful wonderful woman! I know what you mean I worry all the time what if something happens to ( fill in the blank) and they never get to meet my baby? I guess just another craptacular part of IF!
ReplyDeleteSo sweet. It's heartbreaking. I'm feeling this about my mother-in-law. She has NO other grandchildren (and we are the only hope) and I so long to see her face holding our baby in her arms....I'll keep up some hope, for both of us.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you feel. My grandparents are all gone, as are my parents, it is so hard!
ReplyDeleteOh that story made me so sad. Its true. You want people like that to be able to meet the baby you know you will have someday but its just not happening as soon as it should. I am so sorry. Your Nonni sounds like a hoot. I hope you get your little one soon so she can be there.
ReplyDelete