Sunday, March 15, 2009

Vacation coming to an end in more ways than one

Our vacation went great! Especially since it was our first road trip! We drove from Boston to Florida...When we left last Thursday we left at 9:40pm when I got out of work and drove straight through to FL and arrived Friday night at 7pm..we only stopped to pee and swap drivers! Now, on the way home but we stayed overnight in VA...we needed to sleep this time!

While on vacation I got AF - she was a result of my last and final (#4) IUI...I thought I would make one last futile attempt to see if I could get away without doing IVF to have a baby. I'm not sure what I was thinking...deep down inside I knew the IUI wouldn't work. In the first days, I was was the best sample yet and I had been doing acupuncture for about a year and my cycles were great! Then as the days went on I began to lose hope..Why would IUI #4 be any different? I guess they are all different but enough to all of a sudden make it work? Nooppppeeee!

So here we are on vacation and I start to spot - now I have NEVER spotted - it took 2 days for AF to fully arrive which she never really did like was the most bizarre AF ever....My regular AF must have taken a vacation...she had to find a replacement didn't she? She's soo responsible - BITCH! She could have called in sick and I would not have cared - doesn't she get that?

So here we are...4 failed IUI's, 1 miscarriage, 2 years and no baby...I swore I would NEVER do IVF...I guess I was naive..I didn't want to have to do it, didn't think I would have to do it and frankly was scared of it. Now, its the only option...Isn't it weird that you can get pregnant on your own (even if it ends in miscarriage - the sperm and egg still met and attached) and then here you are 2 years later and they cant seem to meet up again on their own? What the hell is going on in there? Are they all betraying me? I have been betrayed by people but to be betrayed by your own body is not fair. That is the one thing that is supposed to be on your side at all times! Oh well, I guess there is no sense in dwelling because it certainly wont change things!

We have our IVF consultation on April 16Th and I guess we go from there. She has said in the past that I still have age on my side and that our choice to only put one embryo back in is still good in someone my age...yeah - well we'll see....everyone also said that an IUI would work!

1 comment:

  1. I am glad you had a great vacation but I am so sorry to hear that your IUI did not work. ((HUGS))